Edit: This Post has taken a very different turn from the beginning of it to the end. I’ve started on one topic and ended up committing to a very public and accountable goal. Enjoy – J.

I haven’t posted in a while so I figured an update was long overdue. I am preparing for releasing the Not A Stigma Podcast, and because of my own insecurities I have re-recorded every episode I’ve been working on 5 or 6 times (so far). In my head, I understand that nothing is perfect first time out, but I’m not at the level I want to be for conveying the messages in the episodes. It’s a unique podcast and I want to be able to give my best to it so it’s taking some time.

However, it and other things have taken me away from my blogging lately. I’ve noticed that I have withdrawn a bit and have put the site to the side and even the podcast recordings as I have been getting frustrated. I was reminded by those in my Personal Support Group that “you get out what you put in”, and distractions of my more mundane yet important parts of life like work have absorbed my time.  

Sometimes we lose touch with our goals and even the balances that are needed for good physical and mental health. I for example, haven’t taken a vacation in years. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there and as much as I’d like to, the thought of taking a vacation sometimes puts more stress on me which is exactly the opposite of what a vacation is supposed to do. So instead I feel like a rechargeable battery that can only charge to about 50% instead of 100%. I even got sick because of my inability to take enough time to relax.

There is a direct correlation between relaxing and your health not just mentally but physically too. So, I did a little research to see what experts and people more in the “Know” say about the subject. The way you feel mentally can influence your physical health over time if you don’t take the time to decompress, center, and learn to let things go. (I am a great example of what NOT to do for the most part. I take on a lot of projects and I leave myself less and less time to reset.) Stress, being overworked, anxiety, and a host of things we allow into our head daily that we don’t let go of can manifest in some/all of the following physical issues:

• Headaches

• Muscular pain in our neck, shoulders or back

• Fatigue and low energy levels

• Raised blood pressure

• Palpitations

• Increased pain thresholds 

• Poor sleep patterns

• Poor breathing

• Suppressed immune system and increased susceptibility to infections 

• Increases in blood sugar and cholesterol levels 

Not only these symptoms but of course over time it gets worse such as raising your risk for heart attacks! Yes, stress kills, and IT DOES NOT CARE IF YOU ARE NOT READY. Now why do I state this in such a dramatic fashion? Because, we should all care about living long enough to reach our goals in life. This scared me to want to change how I’m doing things and I’m hoping it scares you enough to do the same.

So, what do I do? How do I avoid the stress of my daily environment, pressures, and surprises that come up? Well it’s something I’ve had to give a lot of thought to because this is a generalization of my own specific question to myself. We all have different things that stress us out, leave us vulnerable, make us more susceptible to fatigue and physical manifestations of our stress. For me it’s not taking the much-needed time for myself to relax, recharge, and re-focus.

Time to Change Habits!

Take a moment to see what your usual day/week is like. Identify the points where you would like to make a change to your routines. Let me show you an example:

• Monday – Friday: I start work too early and leave too late. (outside of scheduled work hours)

  • Talk to boss about their expectations and my expectations. My boss had NO CLUE that I was working so much and was angry that I didn’t come to them sooner. (My expectations were too high for myself.)

• Weekend: I’m not getting out enough.

• I watch too much TV. (This does not count as relaxing. You don’t enrich your life by knowing what is going on with Game of Thrones.)

• I don’t see my parents enough.

• I’m taking long naps

The solutions are self-explanatory: Do the opposite of these things. To change what you are doing you should be aware of what you are doing that needs changing, then make the effort to change them. Continuing the effort until it become a normal habit for you. (That was a very lazy way to put it!) How about this: Start making goals that work towards what make you happy. Define your passions on a piece of paper, then do what you need to take them from that page and give them life.

Here is an example of my own goal not born out of passion but out of a healthy necessity: I need to go to the gym, it’s just a fact. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, and coincidentally the oldest! My plan is to start with walks with my wife early in the morning, on the weekends. We have a stationary bike, so I can utilize that too. (I hate them, but I hate the idea of having a heart attack or diabetes more!) I’m not ready to die so I’m willing to try. (That is my get healthy mantra until I start to get buff then it will be “WOLVERINE”!) *

All this sounds like work, and does not seem to fall under the category of relaxing. Well, yes and no. The point of relaxing should be to do what you WANT to do, not what you HAVE to do. You have to work, you have to eat, you have to sleep it doesn’t mean that that is all you should be doing with your life. Relaxing is about what you do to make those experiences less stressful, and adding more fun to your life. You are not a machine so don’t act like one. The reason why I added the humor to my goal of working out is to keep my goal positive and make it fun for me because it is not yet a passionate hobby. I need to motivate myself till I see and feel the results. I’m not putting pressure on myself but I identify the priority with the fact that I am getting older, and I should be more fit.

Little story about me working out: I was working out around 2008 with a trainer who held my accountability (and money), however I saw results, good ones. I didn’t notice until I was on the toilet and the shape of my knees looked odd because the muscles had gotten to a point where they defined enough to lessen the “knobbiness” of them. That put me into a level where I became passionate about working out. I stopped working out because I had surgery to remove my gallbladder, I got into lazy habits, and my mental health issues were giving me trouble.

I haven’t talked about my mental health too much or the correlation of relaxing and its impact on it. Well, think about it. If you can diminish even a little of your stress, anxiety, or find a bit of fun because of changing your habits and allowing yourself time to pursue your passions, that you are giving your brain enough of room to help medications work a little easier, for therapy sessions to go a little smoother, or even conflicts in other areas to be resolved in a different way because of the reduction of the things that stop you from focusing? I think it’s worth the little bit of work to balance your life a little more with some relaxing habits and creative outlets.

*Now, I have put it in writing that I’m going to work out. I am making myself accountable for what happens next. If anyone is interested I will update my progress to see what goes on with my mental and physical changes, challenges, and we’ll see what happens. I’m going to the doctor for a physical, so it seems like a good way to start. When I get the OK I will start from there.